Now this really did make me highly ungrumpy…
They should really make ‘BLACK GOLD – the TV series’. Or, thinking about it, perhaps not…
Oh, go on then. I’ll bet my stick-on porn-style mustache it ends up a primetime hit! Merchandise, action figures, the works! Black Gold!
Oh, and remember – “it’s so lavishly appointed, there are virtually NO options”.
GZS
I wonder what’s happening to humanity when I read about puppies being kicked to death by hoodie-wearing scum.
Homo Subhumani
Actually, I know exactly what’s happening to humanity – they’ve retreated inside their homes for fear of the neanderthals outside. There is no humanity in these teenage sacks of shit – perhaps they don’t even qualify as human beings anymore, so far as having a civilised and instinctive advanced moral sense is concerned.
Hands up who knows what’ll happen to this puppy-kicking, hate-filled waste of space when (if) he’s caught. That’s right – a fine, maybe a suspended sentence resulting in a few hours ‘community service’. And that’s if the arrogant fucktard even bothers to turn up – which, as we all know, is highly unlikely. Afterall, while there’s cheap cider to be bought from the corner shop with the proceeds from muggings and petty crimes, who gives a shit about turning up to court when there’s a 2-litre bottle of White Lightning going flat down at the park.
Now, hands up who knows what should happen to this degenerate bastard.
Yep. That’s right – a damn good kicking down the park by the local community. After all, a bit of brain damage could only be an improvement… At least dribbling persistent vegetables don’t spread fear, violence and hate throughout society. I hope his parents are proud (actually, the awful truth is, they probably are.)
GZS
Kerry “been dumped by Iceland and punched my accountant – allegedly” Katona, Pete “Babyshambles – what do you mean you ain’t heard of us” Doherty, Amy “following a long line of wasted talent down the popstar shitter” Winehouse. Need I say any more?
Look mum! I'm on TV!
Well, yes. The world would be better off without the media continually exposing people who are famous for being celebrity fuck-ups. Personally, I don’t find anything remotely entertaining about seeing yet another newspaper story about Pete Doherty’s latest drugs arrest with yet another photo of him with his ‘Crowman from Worzel Gummidge’ hair, druggie complexion and spivs clothes as he’s led into/away from court. I mean, if he’d been remotely famous for some truly excellent music then perhaps, perhaps, his misdemeanors would be worth reading about. Once or twice. Maybe. But mention Babyshambles and I can only imagine some crappy pink and neon nightclub in Essex full of slappers – the only reason I know there’s even a band called Babyshambles is because of headlines like “Pete Doherty – lead singer of Babyshambles – sent to Prison. Again”. Basically, the guy’s a waste of time and space. BANG – there he goes, tumbling headfirst, his hat flying off and his fags all snapped and soaked in his own piss as he lands head-first into my very own ROOM 101.
Look at ME! I'm back! Again...
…But his landing is cushioned by the gurning face of Kerry Katona. Let’s see – another ex pop ’star’ (allegedly) who’s screwed themselves up with drink and drugs (allegedly) lost weight, gained weight, lost weight again (allegedly), relaunched career several times only to fuck themselves up again (allegedly) and punch (allegedly) their own accountant in the face (allegedly) – probably the last person you want to take it out on when you owe a bunch of cash to the inland revenue (allegedly). So desperate for cash (allegedly) that I and other commentators had better use ‘(allegedly)’ to make it clear that we’re only reporting allegations, and therefore not open to being screwed by any ‘no win – no fee’ type company. (allegedly).
"Fame! I wanna live 'til Tuesday! Light up my pipe with a flame.. FAME!"
Amy. Amy Amy Amy. Please, someone, buy her a nice coffee-table book for Christmas called ‘The Lives and Deaths of Rockstars Who Had it All But Pissed it, and Themselves, Away’. Surely she’s heard of Hendrix? For Pete’s sake (not Doherty… he’s probably beyond all help by now) do something original. Just because you’re a pop star doesn’t mean you have to fuck yourself up – do something original instead. Or, y’know, you’ll end up spending eternity in some cosmic ROOM 101 with Katona, Doherty and a hundred and one other celebrity fuck-ups. Allegedly.
GZS
Well, I’m afraid to say that the people behind the MOBO’s (Music of Black Origin awards) have totally disappeared up their own hypocritical arses. Their continual use of the ‘acceptable face of rascism’ (as long as it’s a black face) as a ‘get out of jail free’ card seems to let them get away with anything.
“Glasgow is a “very white” city”
The name's McKenzie. Paul McKenzie. Licence to Discriminate.
Apparently, former Mobo panellist Paul McKenzie, thinks that the MOBO’s can’t be held in Glasgow because it’s too white. He actually thinks it’s okay to say this because the MOBO’s are ” a black event with a complete multicultural umbrella – it really belongs in a multicultural town”.
Multicultural? Black event? Anyone else see the problem here? Surely ‘multicultural’ means ‘of many cultures’. Well, I’m sure that Glasgow does have many cultures – it’s just that it’s not ‘black enough’ for Paul McKenzie. Black enough? Black enough? My God, has the politically correct machine really malfunctioned to the extent that it’s ‘okay’ to make veiled statements like that without anyone raising an eyebrow? Just because he’s used “very white” instead of “too white” and thrown the magic word “multicultural” into the mix doesn’t mean he can get away with blatant so-called ‘positive discrimination’.
What he really means is the MOBO’s are meant for black people more than white people. A lot more. Does this also mean that if you’re a whitey who likes some of the musicians who are up for these awards that you’re less valued or less of a fan than a person who’s skin happens to be black? But this really reopens the can of worms I wrote about here: why black origin in the first place? It’s so generalised. What about hispanics or asians? How about half-caste people of ‘mixed genetic heritage’? Don’t they count? Is the son or daughter of a white mother and a black father only half-worthy of the MOBO’s attention? Or do they water down the purity of the ‘black’ brand?
Here’s a wakeup call for Mister McKenzie: what if it was the other way around??? What if my fictional MOWO (Music of White Origin) awards decided NOT to hold their star-studded ceremony in Leeds, Bradford or London because they were all “too black”. Holy crap! The resultant wave of outrage across the media from people of all colours would probably fill the front page of the newspapers for a month and result in debates in parliament and half a dozen new laws. But who’s protecting the whitey in all this? No one. Trampled underfoot by our own PC’ness and sense of liberal values like tolerance and multiculturalism. Personally, I think these values are good traits in human beings, but they’re open to abuse. People really must learn that black people can be rascist too, if they so choose. We have to be better at spotting passive and casual rascism which is so proudly displayed by the MOBO’s and any other organisations that segregate people based on skin colour. Come on – it’s the 21st century – aren’t we beyond this? They don’t have a licence to discriminate just because of the colour of their skin. Like I said, imagine the MOWO’s saying that London is “too black for a white event”. Go on – imagine it. Pot and kettle, anyone?
GZS
This I like, very much.
Sometimes I look at the words and phrases that people have put into search-engines to find my blog.
This one really made me highly Ungrumpy. So, whoever you are and wherever you are – thanks! Good luck in your ongoing search for ‘great big fat woman with tiny husband cartoons’. May the woman be great and big and fat; and may the husband indeed be tiny. And altogether cartoony.
GZS
Music Of Black Origin: WHITEY'S NEED NOT APPLY (Unless you admit that good white music is only good because it's really of black origin, you thieving white bastards)
Yes – that’s right, the bloody MOBO’s. For those who haven’t yet had this rammed down their throats during another ‘lets not point out blatant positive-discrimination against whites’ item on the news, MOBO’s stands for (wait for it…)
Music
Of
Black
Origin
(Awards)
So, really they should be called MOBOA, but that sounds like the lead character in a black-only version of Rocky.
Anyway, if you haven’t spotted it and become outraged already you’re probably not white. But here’s the deal: I have NO PROBLEM with black people (or yellow, pink, purple or green people) or the statement that some music is definitely of ‘black origin’. I wouldn’t argue about this any more than I would argue against the statement that some music is of white origin, or that some cars are of Japanese origin, or that some of the food in my fridge is of supermarket origin, and beyond that, farm origin. BUT, can you seriously imagine the uproar that would ensue if some white popstar launched the MOWO’s….
That’s right – the
Music
Of
White
Origin
(Awards)
So, come on then. How about it? What’s that I can hear? White supremacist what? Racist who? All white music comes from black music? Seriously??
WTF? There’s no way on this planet that anyone would try to answer the MOBO’s with a white equivalent . Lets face it, they’re simply trying to draw lines of segregation (there’s irony for you..!) between whole segments of society based on whether their skin is white or black. Never mind halfway meaningful categories like asian, african etc – they don’t care about that. It’s white, or it’s black – that’s all that matters. I say again: W. T. F???? Does it matter that some music has a black origin? It does to some people, but to try to lay claim to whole swathes of popular culture by claiming that its origin is ‘black’ is like trying to argue that we’re ALL BLACK just because the cradle of life on this planet just so happened to be in what we today call Africa. We all came from the same gene pool, the same primordial slime – ergo, we’re all black. That makes everything of ‘african origin’. Happy now?
It’s as though these people want to deny the great non-black musicians who have added to, improved, or been inspired by music of black origin. Just look at rock-and-roll. It wouldn’t exist in the same way today without its black roots, but rock-and-roll is now a totally different beast – it’s been adapted, it’s become an almost exclusively white phenomenon (Don’t believe me? Let me see an all-black mainstream rock band. Rap – yes, RNB – yes, Rock – no. It’s a cultural thing, not a race issue – it’s just how the musical/cultural cookie crumbled.)
I don’t have a problem with anyone based on their race, colour or culture, but I do have a problem with inequality and blatant misuse and abuse of social and cultural power. I can’t help but feel that the black slave trade (a blip in terms of the history of the planet – all be it a shameful chapter in human history) is the ethnic-history equivalent of an Everlasting Gobstopper. It just never gets any smaller. Generations upon generations pass by, and yet the great great great great grandchildren of those who were genuinely enslaved and mistreated still bang on about it like it happened to them.
I might as well start a new campaign to ‘big-up’ the ‘oppressed whiteman’ who’s still, in the 21st century (a century with a black US President – a monument to democracy and equality) held racially-responsible for the mistakes of their ancestors. Afterall, my great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfather ‘probably’ got enslaved by arabs in the 9th century. That’s right, black people don’t have the monopoly on slavery – but they sure do have the monopoly on playing the victim on history’s behalf. And they’re welcome to it. I don’t need to dredge up the past and wear it like a badge on my sleeve to justify my right to fair and equal treatment. It’s just a shame that bullshit (and, frankly, racially-exclusive) drum-beating, issue-ridden awards like the MOBO’s feel that they can’t let the music speak for itself. Even the MOBO website seems ashamed to mention what the acronym actually stands for, prefering instead to emphasise that it’s all about “urban music”. What thinly-veiled bullshit. Some PR guy is probably advising them to stop emphasising the meaning of MOBO – whilst the founder repeats the words “It seemed like a great idea for a name at the time.”..
Ah, thinking about it, they’re probably afraid to let the music speak for itself. Mainly because RNB and rap is utterly derivative, aggressive tuneless shite which glorifies gang culture/violence/intolerance/women-as-shag-machine-bitches and all the rest. Oh yeah, and here’s several shining examples of the so-called ‘positive role models’ offered up to black kids. This particular gallery has a ‘For FUCK’S SAKE LIGHTEN THE FUCK UP’ theme. Enjoy.
Sad Miserable Fuck (hey, it's a rap name, not an insult!)
I'll bust a cap in yo ass! How shit-stirringly original.
Need I say any more? Really?
Attitude. It's all about the tw-attitude.
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How about some equality for the whitey’s, hmm? Or is equality a one-way street now? Please, please. Someone launch the MOWO’s – I want to see the outrage unfold on the news as the ‘poor oppressed middle-class white-man’ takes a damn good kicking for daring to celebrate ‘whiteness’. Don’t worry, it’ll never happen.
GZS
PS: Anyone who thinks this is a racist blog needs to:
A) Get off the ‘anyone who mentions the words black in the same sentence as a criticism is a racist’ bandwagon.
B) Learn to read, slowly and thoroughly.
C) Learn to READ and understand, before they pass snap judgements.
D) Consider how they would react if the MOWO’s were launched and ask themselves this question: “Have I got a racist attitude hidden under my persecution complex?”.
E) I said, LEARN TO READ.
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